Deep Thoughts.

... Okay , maybe not that deep. Just thoughts. For the past few weeks.. No actually , months I've been wondering about alot of things. Its more like worried , truth be told .. Im really afraid of growing up. Sometimes , I just wanna dwell in the old days and still be a kid and have not a care in the world.. but but , now's not the time.

With the direction Im going , Im not sure where's my path in the future . I've been doing some soul searching recently . Thinking of , what do I really want in life ? What do I wanna achieve by when . And its not suprising that I came up with nothing . I used to have a goal , I used to have a plan for everything .

However, right now Im just feeling lost .. Seriously , what AM I gonna do with my life? I dont wanna end up selling tissues at the roadside and begging for money. It seems as though most of my peers already have their path set. I really dont see myself going anywhere with the things I'm doing at the moment . There's nothing I hate more than not having a plan and not knowing what I'm doing..

.. I guess I should give it more time . But seriously , as I've said earlier . I really dont want to grow up . Dont get me wrong that doesnt mean I want to run around naked licking ice creams . That just means that , I feel like Im not really ready for this kind of responsibility . Things are moving at too fast of a pace . At least to me it is .

I've only been working for about half a year and already I feel worned out , I feel like I need a damned break but with such a long way more to go in the rat race .. Am I really ready for all this kinda things? Sometimes, I do feel like I'm missing out on alot of things in a teenagers life .

I mean , I never got a chance to finish schooling and I can say damn right I miss those days . Last week I was assigned to HELP College to station a booth there and I saw groups college kids just hanging out .. In different flocks of course . and then , I snapped and realized that Im gonna be missing out on that too .

Re-reading my past posts I've realized how far I've come and how much I've grown and of course how much more there is thats yet to come . I just hope.. That one day all this will pay out and things will shift for the better . I better buck up now =)
..Need to work harder .

On a random note , I do feel like Im getting older and I'm suffering from the symptoms as such

• Constantly thinking and talking about the old days
• When you buy something , someone calls your bang instead of dik

Gosh , I dont wanna feel old before getting old . I need to get a damned vacation and erh , be young again !