Twisted logic

(edited, .. somewhere in the middle)

Personally, I strongly believe that everything that happens for a reason it applies especially to myself. As in, everything I do serve a very important purpose. Why? Because I possess superior intellect and I'm fucking awesome.

If you didn't already know, I'm a very prominent litter bug in the city and I don't just litter because I'm lazy and I like (which, by the way is true) but because I'm simply creating jobs for all the decent janitors and street sweepers out there. Why, if people like me weren't around, where would they be now? Begging on the streets? What about their families? Where will they be, sleeping in the mosques and churches? I'm only thinking about the people and its the people I care for

Furthermore, the more I litter the more landfills there will be, given time these landfills can be recreated into a green land and then built to be a golf resort for the rich folks to play golf on, to release their stress and kill some time. You see rich people are bastards, when they have nothing else better to do they pick on the poor. Hence, we must occupy them with entertainment. You see, I'm doing this solely for the purpose for society. You think I like to litter wan ar? Actually I do, but that's not the point now is it. I serve of a higher purpose. I'm an idealist visionary compassionate man, okaay.

..

I'm also such a nice person.

EDIT: (More nonsense added)

..and if you didn't already notice, I'm a compulsive pyromaniac my main victims of circumstance are usually bugs. Why? Because they're fucking convenient due to the fact that they are practically in every corner of the world to every corner of your office space. I dint do it just because its fun (although it is), no I have a ulterior reason to it as well just like how everything I do serves a very important purpose as well. You see, just like I've said above ; bugs are everywhere. Which shows that they are in fact overpopulated and we all know overpopulation may lead to extinction for there aren't resources/food for the particular species.

So we need proper control to maintain the delicate ecosystem for generations to come. The point is, I burn to save an entire species not just to kill a bug and nono, I don't just burn at random its based on variable factors, such as weather, environment, species count and area population its all pretty complicated stuff I don't expect a feeble minded simpleton like yourself to comprehend so I wont bother explaining. For we both know it'd be a waste of both our time.

Moving on, I'm sure you noticed I'm more than just compulsive smoker. In fact you could even categorize me as a freaking chimney at certain given times. You'd know by now that this too has its divine reasons. You see, everytime I smoke a stick it could potentially mean I'm taking a stick away from another smoker, for you see stores sometimes run out of stock too. So you see, I'm actually sacrificing my life for a complete stranger who I probably will never meet. I'm so, divine right?right. Almost like a rebirth of Jesus Christ himself or probably a direct descendant of a god. If you're not too busy watching porn you'd notice the halo above my head.

In addition I'm also smoking to reduce my age. Crazy stuff, you say? No definitely not, you see golden age is not as golden as it may seem for you see our EPF would probably only last us 4-5 years seeing the costs of daily living these days and after 4-5 we'd probably developed a multiple series of diseases, so we'd be suffering more than we're enjoying and to top that we'd have to revert back to childhood where we fucking a wear a fucking diaper . I cant emphasize that enough.

So why suffer right? Such logical thinking I know, besides being at that age and not a productive contributing member of society, thus a burden to taxpayers. Being a workmen with commitments I personally understand the financial burdens some of us has to face. Hence I refuse, to make life harder for everyone else I'll just end mine slowly and pleasurably and when I die the amount of tar in my lungs would be sufficient to construct another bloody Kesas highway. Hence, making me useful even when dead. Wah, thinking ahead. Damn good.

(Edited nonsense end)


Also, I have the tendency of using a hell lot of tissue than any normal man should. No, not just because I'm cursed with a pathetic excuse for a nose but because this action too serves a higher purpose. Now, we are all very well aware of how human's tend let problems slip right under their nose provided if they're not dire enough, right? Exactly. So my sole purpose of doing this is to make the government realize how bad the deforestation state has been by making it worse for them to actually take actions upon it. You see, the more tissues I use, the more trees they cut, the more trees they cut the more tree plantation zones there will be hence there will be more tree. So indirectly I'm creating life. I'm so awesome, almost demi-godlike. Now bow and worship.



Kthxbai.