Depression.

At a point of life, perhaps way much more than just once we're being shoved down the throat with a feeling that we cant turn away, a feeling that's no less painful then have a painstaking burning needle thrusted right through the centre of our heart. No, this is not an emo post. Sorry to disappoint you.

I've noticed recently that, when it comes down to it there's this part in us; deep down inside that likes being depressed. A side of us that is too comfortable with being depressed to take any actions of any sort. Think about it, deep down we know something could be done. Deep down we know we could step up and change how we feel.

But the truth is, sometimes being depressed is such a convenient excuse to not do anything. Whatever it is that we lack proper performance in we can simply say

"Why, its only because I'm depressed. I cant focus"

Its the best way to run away from any sort of responsibility, regardless of it being the daily responsibilities or the responsibility towards how oneself feels or how oneself presents himself or herself as. When we're depressed nothing is our fault because this person did that to us therefore we're acting this way. Its so convenient that we refuse to step out of our comfort zones and as the deception game goes on it elevates us towards a point where we actually believe that our life is nothing but in fact just a pile of shit being thrown onto us constantly.

Admit it, we all like being depressed at some point, because in a way its more tangible. Somehow it makes us feel something, when it comes to something that is jovial we'll remember it at best a day or two and then the following days the details just slowly withers away but when it comes to depression even years to come from now we'd remember the every violent inch of haunting detail. Its makes us feel painfully alive, being constantly reminded that we too have emotions of some sort without the regard of whether its negative or vice versa.

And slowly as the this symptom grows, we channel this emotion onto a third party seeking empathy, seek some sort of self comfort in this deception that we've brought onto ourselves. Seeking a sense of somewhat being feel like we're loved or care for and at most times the third party hypocritically shows a faux sympathy in the chase of portraying a self sense of compassion. It makes one party feel loved, and the other feel great about what a great person he or she is. Somehow, come to think of it we all seem like parasites in some ways.

It is funny how, we as human being the most intelligent beings are all so staged as though we're all a part of God's musical play in some grand hall and how we are all somewhat predictable and mostly how we're commonly the main factor towards our own undoing. We know being this way is unhealthy to ourselves, we do know what we're doing is not what is deemed to be the most ideal path, yet somehow we still choose it.

..It is something to ponder upon.. dont you think?