The Awakening

..And on the 22nd day God said ..

"..Let there be an update!"

I guess its about time this blog gets revived , its been dead for way too long. Anyways this is gonna be one hell of a jumbled up post. Alright, I shall begin by announcing that I would restrain from doing any forms of charity or showing any signs of kindness whatsoever.

"What?! You kind?! Charity?!
Pffft ! Not even close.."

I know what you're thinking, but on contrary to popular beliefs I too have some moments where my better nature appears. It occurs once in 3 blue moons , but still its there and it does count for something. That is if you believe in karma of course.

Roughly around 2 weeks back , I was sitting in a bus as I usually would , no I didn't miss another stop . I'm not that stupid , no you cant disagree , shut up. As I was saying , I was sitting in the bus , this time without being nosy of course. Then , this old lady walked in . Being a student who paid attention in Moral classes , I decided to offer her my seat so I tapped her on the shoulder and said

"Excuse me , but you do want my seat?"

With her nostrils flaring , she turned around furiously and said

"Excuse me , but do I look that old to you?"

....

Oh wow.

By then I was struck with a huge what the fuck moment , one like I've never had before. I decided to shut my mouth until I reached home. I was baffled of course. I thought surely a kind deed would be returned handsomely , if not a smile would be nice. Instead , I was attacked with the fierce flaring nostrils with the size not any lesser than the Batu Caves. Maybe Indians , should find her and pray there for this year's Thaipusam , that way they wouldn't have to go through such a huge crowd.

..

Off topic , I know. Sorry.

Then a couple of days later, I had dinner with Cindy . You may recognize her as the top 20 singing toads of One In A Million last year. The dinner , which I expected to last only 2 hours or less turned out to end 10 hours later. Its not relevant to what I'm about to say , but I just want to express this record setting moment. I mean , its not often someone sits in the same mamak for 10 hours without a moment of silence. ( well , except for bathroom breaks of course) Its worthy of a mention.

So anyways , 10 hours and much flatter butt later , I took a bus home . Being as sleepy as I was , I was all but unable to do something that would be deemed stupid. As I walked down the bus , thinking that it was a safe journey without any occurrences , I saw an old man. He was struggling to cross the extremely busy road outside my house.

Being the kind and compassionate person I am ,

..

That's a lie , if you didn't already noticed.

As I was saying, I decided to offer a helping hand so I asked him

"..Excuse me sir , but do you need a hand to cross the road?"

He turned around furiously and gave me the "Stare of Thousand Needles up His Buttocks" then very quickly proceeding dashing across the road as though he was trying to prove his valor and agility in crossing the road. Again I was struck with another what the fuck moment.

...

"..A kind deed is bad indeed
A kind deed is bad indeed
A kind deed is bad indeed
A kind deed is bad indeed.."

..Lets all join in that chant and none shall ever suffer the same fate as I did.