Legend of the Flaming Nipples.

".. No! I must listen to the wise one and seek what I've hungered for all these while" the foolish young warrior said in fury.

" .. FOOL! listen to me , the journey is long and tough you will never make out of it alive! " he yelled in a stern voice while grabbing the fool by his hand.

" .. Let go of me ! You must understand it is my destiny to follow this path" screamed the fool as he ran out slamming the door.

The hot blooded young fool just wouldn't listen, drowned in his own confidence and arrogance he embarked on a journey to the distant land of Le' Kitchentron. A quest to seek a sacred treasure he was once told by wise one. A treasure that grants the beholder great powers from another realm. A power that this young one have long hungered for.

" YES YES" the fool said to himself as his journey draws shorter.

Without any obstacles whatsover , he entered the realms of Le' Kitchentron. Yet somehow the sacred treasure was nowhere in sight. He was frustrated , as he walked around frantically he searched in the depths of Le' Kitchentron. As he walks , he felt this warm aura wrapping around his body gently. Something told him that he had to go straight further into the realms of Le' Kitchentron. He felt the energy getting warmer as he was venturing deeper in.

.. It was as though , it was inviting him to be there.

He felt the the energy tingling by his fingertips, it feels familiar and comfortable. Surely, he is much closer now ! As he tilts his head, he spots in the corner of his little a eye. A magical seal that most likely contains the sacred treasure he seeks.

" .. Ah, surely this was the magical seal Refrigederon, that the wise was talking about !" says the warrior as his hand slowly reaches for the magical seal.

The closer he gets the faster his heart beats. His long journey was about to come to an end . As he opens the seal , he sees the treasure and he lets out a yell of joy:

"EGGS ! MOTHERFUCKING EGGS!!! "

He was experiencing great exhilarating joy. One like he's never exprienced before. It was like discovering masturbation for the first time. Finally! The great treasure will now grant him the great powers to satisfy the hunger he had for it. All he has to do know his harness its mystical properties with his frying pan.


....

Surely by now, you'd realize that was just an elaborate story about me going downstairs to the kitchen to get some eggs from the fridge. Alright here's where the real story really begins. I was really craving for some eggs. So as any regular man would , I turned on the stove to heat up the frying pan as I beat the eggs and add some ingredients to it. So as I poured the eggs onto the stove I started scrambling the eggs with my spatula. As I was doing so , suddenly , a rather loud explosion was heard.

The mother fucker caught on fire ! I swear the fire was the height of a midget and in the process I burnt some body hair. Thank god I am a sexy beast that cooks without my shirt on , or else surely my shirt would have caught on fire and I would have suffered from a third degree burn.
Very swiftly I filled a bowl with water and splashed the pan with it.

...

Now that was a dead wrong move. Dead wrong. The oil was jumping everywhere . I just stood there in awe until the oil burnt my nipples. I jumped in pain as the fire dies down . Curious , I looked what have become of my scrambled eggs only to realize it has became the total opposite of Micheal Jackson ; Turning from white to a nigga egg.

I thought surely I nigga egg would have some "flava" in it , so being curious as I was I took a bite. It tasted awesome , so fucking awesome that I ran straight to my toilet feeling like barfing.


.. Man this is the second time I've got my nipples burnt in this house.

Allow me to quote Cindy.

" .. You are god's entertainment , the joke vending machine. Everytime god feels bored he puts in 50 cents and fucks around with you"

... I'm starting to believe her now.