Did you have a good 365 days?

Hello boys & girls,

Wow, its just unbelievable 2009 is officially a thing of the past now.
Congratulations! We are now..

365 days/
52.177457 weeks/
8765.81277 hours/
525,948.766 minutes/
31,556,926 seconds

...closer to our dying breathe. Here's a fun fact the average life expectancy for a Malaysian is supposedly 74.2 years. AWESOME! That leaves me only 3 more quarters of my remaining time to achieve something that might considered worthwhile with my life.

On a more serious note, those numbers means something, those numbers ultimately means that the time we have in this wretched place we call earth is very short. Hence, it is important for us to review whether we've maximized the gift of time. Having said that, let's take a trip back to the past and review the way we've walk the path of 2009, lets look back in retrospect and ask ourselves these questions.

"If I could sum up 2009, what does it mean to my personal growth?"

"Was it.. worthwhile?"

"Did I learn any valuable experiences in 2009 in which I can use for the remaining time I have on this world"

"Did achieve my goals (if any) set out earlier this year"

"If I succeed, was it as AWESOME as I expect it to be?"

"If I failed, why? (WHY GOD WHY!!)"

I guess we list can go on and on, and we can really end up asking ourselves these questions until the next thing we realize is that it's already 2011 and then we repeat asking ourselves these questions, dear god.. it will be a vicious cycle. But if you ask me personally, (which you probably don't care) I'd say year 2009 was a very humbling experience for me. Many lessons learned, many times my ass was burnt but it is in the burning which I did the most learning

I guess the most important lesson I have learned is a lesson in humility. All my life, I've been good at what I do without really even trying hard. I've been always good in studies even though I slept in class, I excelled at sports and in fact I broke some records without even attending practice. 2 years ago, I joined Comfori and I was the top salesperson without really even trying.

.. But..

2009 is different, 2009 was a bitch. 2009 was a tough bitch in fact. 2009 was a bitchslap right across the face telling me to step up my game. It was my first recession, and it was also my first failure which continued to occur, over and over and over and over and over and over and if I can emphasize some more OVER again. I hit rock bottom from be the top dog to being the bottom bitch and my friend, it was a very bitter feeling that mercilessly and utterly destroy any ounce of ego you have left in you.

But being at the bottom gave me a whole new perspective, it granted me the ability to be humble, and with that ability it gave my an opportunity to listen to people, to allow people to teach me lessons in which I will previously never learn. I was amazed with the wealth of knowledge which I could previously acquire from other people if I just stopped and listen back then. If just for a second I stopped addressing myself as "The most awesome motherfucker that walked the earth" I would have opened myself to all these possibilities.

The most important lesson I've learned however, is the power of believe. It sounds like something that comes straight out of Walt Disney's ass but as cheesy as it is, in order to achieve something you must first believe that it can be achieved. Earlier this year I was assigned to take over the biggest project ran by my company so far which also at the same time happened to be a project handled by 2 different person for 3 months and had no success in generating a single cent of revenue. Now, my responsibility was to ensure that this project brings profit and mind you my timeline is only 1 month.

I had with me an army of discouraged soldier and a general who tells me to pull the plug on the project, however for some reason I had something simple yet powerful called a believe, the chips were down but eventually the believe spread to the rest of the team and we somehow managed to pull through and generated 100k worth of revenue, it ain't much but it sure as hell felt good. It was better than having 3 orgasms. Now I'm not saying by simply believing you'd achieve great heights but without the belief to begin with the efforts put in will not equate the measurable success.

I guess I'm looking abit too much in the past, I should also think about the future. At this present moment everything feels very uncertain, I am unsure where I'd end up 20 years from now. When I bump into my friends 20 years from now, and when the ask how I am doing, will tell them how awesome and successful I am or will I be telling them how much my job sucks? Surely I prefer not to have the latter, but who knows right? But really the thing I am really uncertain is what am I fighting for? I am sure as hell fighting hard, but really.. why?

Why..?

Why am I fighting? That's a question that's been lingering in my mind for sometime.

Sure there's the standard reason of wanting to be rich as hell that I wipe my shit with 100 dollar notes and also the standard reason of wanting to carve a name in the cornerstone of society and also spitting in the face of those who doubt my success. But surely, there's gotta be more. I simply feel that I lack enough reason to really fight till I bleed to death. Its like climbing the Mount Everest, many adventures seek out to climb it in order that they can brag about it, rub it in everyone's face that they are better than everyone else but there's also the great rush of achievement but what's next? Surely if there was a damsel in distress up the peak of that very mountain you'd climb a hell lot faster to get laid.

For 2010 I wanna find that damsel in distress to make me wanna climb the mountain faster. By that I dont mean a chick to date it's simply a methapor referring to a stronger and better reason to make me wanna fight harder than before

With that in mind, I'd like to have a fresh start for year 2010. I'd like to start with a burning fire and a burning passion that sincerely believes that I will be the best damned salesperson in 2010 and that I will create the best damned team the company has ever seen. I set a blaze of trail in which the rest will follow in my path of greatness.

...


Oh and right, new year's resolution, which I promised last year to have for this year.
I'd like to get a damned car by October 2010.

Cheers everyone, have a shitty year ahead of you because shitty years builds character and that leads to many awesome years to come.

(Lazy to proofread, fuck grammar and spelling.)