Sometimes..

Sometimes I just cant help but envy , the very same group of people that I diss and claim are ignorant . No , Im not doing so because Im jealous or anything . Im doing so because it makes me feel superior and I enjoy doing it. Dont judge, Im sure most of you do similar things maybe without even realizing it.You may think I'm an asshole and you're right , shove monkeys up your ass while you're at it . I dont care what you think , at least I'm honest about my flaws. But thats not the point here is it? Some say ignorance is bliss , it may be true and at the same time it could be false. After all , everything is just perception .. there's no such thing as absolute in anything at all . Alright back to the point , sometimes you the group that are claimed as ignorant they have things that most could only dream of , yet they're not utilizing it well . I guess this once against prove how there's no such thing as a win-win situation. When you gain something , something else's gotta give . I'll elaborate on that another day.

As some of you may know , I was a rich kid back then .. or dare I say amongst the richest in my peer group but as I reflect on my past , I realized I behaved exactly like the same group of people that I diss on a daily basis. Yet , somehow I was much happier back then than I am now . No, Im not saying Im feeling very emo right not and I should slit my throat. Im still a jolly person who enjoy's random stupidity but just not as much as I did last time. Maybe , it is not right for us to make fun of these people just to feel great about ourselves , maybe its not right for us to make everyone else agree with us just to reinforce our feelings of superiority , that only creates a false sense of security . But, who cares .. right or wrong is just a perception right? Even so , I cant help but enjoy torturing their poor souls . That somehow makes me ignorant right ? Nope , I still dont care what you think of me, nice try though.

Its funny how , sometimes we as human fail to act as how we preach . I guess us as humans are just imperfect beings and we just have to deal . I mean , its ironic how I tend laugh at people who are too emotionally driven and ignorant but yet I envy them at the very same time . Its funny , come to think of it .. When we lack knowledge we strive for more , when we gain it we somehow wish we didnt have to go through all that we've gone through to gain the wisdom . Equipped with the knowledge of the worse parts of life sometimes we just cant frolicly prance in a fairytale world of our own where clouds are made of cotton candies and shit like that. Dont get me wrong , its great to be enlightened and I still think life is beautiful , but it has it downsides . Which reinforces the theory of there's no such thing as a win-win situation

But after deep thoughts you'd realize that being ignorant isnt as blissful after all . Being looked down and constantly made fun of by the much superior intelligence isnt a stroll in the park either. Unless , you're blessed enough to have a group of friends who are just as ignorant as you are to reinforce your stupidity then you're lucky. I guess its true when they say the grass is always greener on the other side. I have to admit though , I really wish sometimes I was less analytical and more emotionally driven so that I can live everyday like there's no tomorrow but sometimes the situation just doesnt allow you to do so .I wish I could just love someone without thinking of consequences or the future but sometimes the cynical side of me just stops me from doing so

So the question here is , knowing all this .. What price are you willing to pay in exchange of being enligthened with knowledge of life? Sometimes fate could be so cruel yet.. Morbidly its beautiful in its own way .. I might not make much sense , heck since when do I ever make sense but seriously tell me at what are you willing to sacrifice just to get wiser ? Would rather be ignorant and be blissfully blessed with all the little things in life or would you rather be equipped with more knowledge but worry about every single thing ? I guess at the end of the day we all just have to count our blessings .

Note: My pc was being a bitch , it suffered from a power failure when I was almost done with this entry previously .. I just wanna rant about it .. In any case enjoy ~